I feel like a lost soul today. I know its is probably just the drugs but its a horrible feeling. A mixture of depression and hopelessness and a general feeling of "what the feck". Its the first time since being diagnosed that I have actually considered there is a chance that things may go pear shaped and, if things do go pear shaped then I dont have time on my side. This is a big reality check. Not wanting to sound over dramatic but its kinda scary to question your own mortality....and questioning it is what I'm doing a lot of. I'm scared for my kids, especially my youngest daughter who seems especially close to me at the moment. The eldest is a little more mature but I still worry for her. I havent told them about the hep....how the hell do i explain something like that to an 11 and 14 yr old? I think they can sense something isn't right and several times over the last week or so they have asked if I am ill. Maybe I should say something but I dont know where to start. They are both at important stages of their lives and the last thing I want to do is burden them with extra worries or baggage.
I really need to try and rationalise my thoughts and put the whole situation into perspective. It would be easy to just crawl into a hole and feel sorry for myself but I cant allow myself to do that. The house is a total tip at the moment which probably doesnt help. The problem is when I try and do any housework I just end up wandering aimlessly about not knowing what I should be doing...quite amusing really. Well, my task for today is to just bloody well get it sorted. I'm gonna scrape every ounce of energy I have and get the house looking spick and span before my youngest turns up this afternoon. Surely given the chance, positivity will always win?
4 comments:
Keep your chin up hun :o) it's the meds making you feel down, go talk to the doc about it.
Kids know when there's something wrong and if they keep asking you then you need to tell them something to put their minds at rest. You don't need to tell them you have Hep C, just tell them your liver is playing you up and you've got some pills from the doc but the pills make you feel sick. That way, they'll know you're telling them the truth instead of just saying there's nothing wrong, and they'll be happy because you're getting it sorted. Kids pick up a lot more than we give them credit for.
Lean on your friends, we're here for you, get that positive attitude back. You know you can do it.
take care
Bean xxooxx
I think you will feel better when you tell the kids. They will know as time goes on. I have done well on tx but the people living with me and close to me know whats going on. Its not something you can hide If theres a stigma how you got it...many say they don't know and most of us don't know. Kids are so smart and that is why they are asking. They are girls and need honesty. I'm female so I know. You may get a bit of girl drama on the reaction but everyone will feel better to just know. They will feel worse not being told and finding out later. You'll get through this. You're not alone. Don't be afraid to change doctors if you need a new one. goggle doctors that treat hep c. Look under web page with patient referals. Good luck
Chris, I agree ... tell them. Tell them as truthful as you can, without putting any emphasis on mortality or disease. Tell the the meds, although making you feel worse at the moment, will make you feel better in the long run. You will be surprised how much they understand.
Goody luck, my friend.You'll be ok, I just know.
Love
Fishy xxx
how are you and your girls doing now. anybetter?
Humble
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